Is it wrong to feel so negative??

Alright so lets start this off with a happy note. I had the pleasure to attend Douglas Coupland doing a reading of The Gum Thief this evening with my wonderful girlfriend Amanda. In person he is quite hilarious, but also knows how to get to business. He read most about a book inside of a book. It’s called Grove Pond. Basically his intention was that the main narrator in the book Roger, was writing a book called Grove Pond and it was supposed to show some sort of character definition, but alas as funny as it was, even Coupland himself said it was pointless dribble but also humorous. Most of him reading was from Grove Pond, although he did read a tiny bit from The Gum Thief, I enjoyed the fact that he did things the way he did. Afterwards he was doing a signing for his new book, but as people in Toronto are, everyone stampeded his table and Amanda and myself didn’t deem it necessary to wait around for him to chat with everyone and sign their books. So we left with smiles on our faces and good conversation for most of the way home. Also might i point out that giving Douglas Coupland complete control of a lighting system is worth the price of admission in itself, even if it was only $5.00.

So now onto the actual title of my recent update. As stated before Amanda and myself were having a great conversation of the points of Coupland’s laughter and how great he was. Then i started to rant about how much i hate the human race and how most people i see on the streets irritate me and how i would love nothing more than to punch them all in the face and smile afterwards, unfortunatly due to my small stature, i can’t do such things. My first reason for feeling like this… wait wait wait a second, i can’t really sit here and right about how my first reason for feeling like this was just tonight, no no no, this feeling goes way deeper than just one sighting of fucking morons tonight, this basically goes from a long time ago. But, keeping with tonight and all, and because my memory sucks ass, i’ll just keep with the pace. So yeah, starting off the day, one thing I will never understand about the city of Toronto is the retarded people that live in such city. It makes me want to pack up, and move to Vancouver, where from what i hear, the people are amazing, you can actually breathe, and public transit is not as bad as here. I can’t really even say that public transit here is bad, cause that puts a smile on my face. Public transit in Toronto should be ranked dead last in the world, that’s right EVEN behind North fucking Bay!!

Now i realize that most people who read this blog, although i only know of 2 friends and where they reside, but i know that most of you probably don’t live in Toronto so you don’t have the pleasure to see how some people react to 3 street cars waiting at a station. Now most of us, who have brains, realize that when you walk out of the station and see 3 streetcars waiting would think, HURRAY!! today is going to be an amazing day. I don’t have to wait for the next one and by the time it does come there will be at least 35 to 50 people waiting for the same one. But i still see people running for a streetcar, that A) is already packed full of the same dumb people, and B) is shutting it’s doors and people still have the gull to yell at the streetcar driver to wait. Someone please tell me why people do this?? I understand that not all of us wake up in the morning with the intention of leaving early and sometimes things happen in the morning that make us a tad late, BUT WHEN THERE ARE 3 FUCKING STREETCARS!!??? Fucking c’mon! But this is the least of my frustration. Another thing that angers me is when Subway drivers decide that there best approach at slowing down rush hour, is to shut the doors the instant they open and only allow a small amount of people to enter them. That and walking behind the fattest lady I’ve seen in years, and her walking too slow and me having to push her in so i don’t get left behind at a stop. Now yes, i realize this may seem as dumb as the people who run for the 3 waiting streetcars in the morning, but, I had more than enough time to get on said subway, if it wasn’t for the lady who walks too god damn slow and probably is waiting to die.

Yeah you can call me insensitive, you can call me a prick, fuck you can even call me a fat ass, myself, I don’t really give a shit. I’m a 195+, Caucasian male, who wears tight pants and tight shirts and honestly, I’m probably more in touch with myself then most of the people who throw up there dinner or lunch and think they look beautiful. Now back to tonight. As Amanda and myself were walking home i had the pleasure of walking by two white as fuck individuals, who yes to be stereotypical, were wearing baggy pants, a crooked Old school Toronto Blue Jay’s hat, and had that stupid fucking swagger that makes most handy-capped people look like they walk normal. One of them happened to glance at me the wrong way, which basically pissed me off to no end. Why?? do i really look all that abnormal?? I don’t think so. I think out of the billions and billions of people walking around on this earth, i’m probably a fucking regular joe than most people walking around. But that’s a whole other blog, and a whole other conversation.

As for now, i’m going to bed. Work awaits me tomorrow and really, i don’t feel like being tired tomorrow morning. I will possibly continue this tomorrow morning, but realistically probably not. I will leave you with something that Douglas Coupland said this evening during his reading which i thought was hilarious and next time this happens to you, you should do the same, to quote him exactly : “The next time your power goes out, yell, MY JEWELS!!”